I remember lying in my cot; I was about a year old. The lady who cared for me was kindly but I didn’t know her that well. The lead teacher in the small school my mummy had just opened in our house had told the lady caring for me: “Put Peter to sleep, he’s tiredâ€. I don’t think either of them knew if I was tired or not.
Her hands were gentle and her voice wasn’t stern as she laid me face up in my cot. I at least had my dummy in my mouth for some comfort. I focused on the ceiling as she gently rubbed my tummy; perhaps that was when I first started having seizures, I think they call them ‘absence seizures’ now — when a child can tune out the world as I did. Next thing I knew her hands weren’t touching me, just passing over my body from my head to my toes. I haven’t got a sense of time but it was a long time before I felt able to safely close my eyes and go to sleep.
Still, I woke up crying – what scared me so much?
When I get seizures now, usually with high temperatures, my mummy pays attention to me – I even get taken to the hospital emergency room. Mummy says “Daddy had seizures for the first five years of his life so it’s really OK†but she always goes into a great panic when they happen. I find it very confusing; if it’s OK to have seizures why does mummy become so anxious?
I’ve found tuning out to be quite convenient over the last four years that I’ve been attending mummy’s school. Sometimes I grind my teeth when a teacher is talking to me in what they call their ‘firm’ voice. I use tuning out and grinding my teeth when life at school gets too hard for me; when I don’t understand what my teacher expects of me. I know I don’t understand the way other children seem to. When we listen to songs telling us to clap our hands, then jump, then skate, etc. I don’t understand so I just clap my hands to every part of the song.
Last week a teacher was telling me it was important to drink more water because it was so hot outside. I suppose I don’t see my flushed bright red cheeks like they do. I think it’s fun to take water and spit it over the front of my clothes, at least I feel cooler. If I wail enough for water before we take a nap one of my teachers always brings me a cup.
My baby sister came, finally. Mummy had talked to me about her arrival for months. Was I no longer important? Since we’ve been in our new school and my sister arrived mummy often forgets to take home my lunchbox and my wet clothes. She’s always in a hurry saying “your sister’s crying†or hungry or tired. What about me?
I’ve been the centre of her world for so long and now I don’t seem to matter so much. These last four years have been very confusing to me. I hardly recognise teachers at school there have been so many changes. Of course when I screamed loud enough mummy always came to rescue me when we had the school in our house – now that we have a real school building she’s not always around. I cried very hard the first day I was back at school after my sister was born. Daddy dropped me at school, which he never does. I was crying so much that my teacher had to take me outside to calm down. I really wish mummy had planned it better.
But she still lets me climb the furniture and coffee table, at home and at grandma’s, and I have space to kick a ball around inside my house. It’s so nice not to have as many rules at home as there are at school. I wonder if my friends at school miss me when I’m not there. It’s really hard to have true friends when my mummy owns the school.
My only free time with other children is when I’m out in the playground at school. That’s when I like to play-act all the films I’ve been watching. There are lovely pieces of wood to become swords and guns and I like that. It seems that the teachers at school don’t agree because they always take them from me and tell me not to ‘shoot’ people. They also don’t like it when I grab my friends’ arms like I’ve seen people do in films.
I’m not sure why I always feel hungry and thirsty. Mummy packs my lunch box but I don’t always eat what’s in there. I usually like to talk to my friends at the lunch table even though my teachers keep telling me to eat and not talk. My teachers are always talking about something called ‘nutrition’ and eating foods without too much sugar or corn syrup or colouring in them. Those seem to taste the best to me, maybe that’s why mummy always packs those for me. I know how to get a cup of water from the cooler but don’t usually drink it, maybe that’s why I’m thirsty.
Life’s hard when you’re only four years old. I wish I had more words to explain what’s happening in my life. Most of my words I’ve memorised from the films I watch. Could that account for the strange looks I get from teachers when I’m talking? I haven’t even thought about the changes to come when I might have to go to a real school someday.
How will that work out?