The major miss­ing link for any child in day­care is a lov­ing and long-term rela­tion­ship with a spe­cif­ic car­er (obvi­ous­ly not the moth­er). The sec­ondary miss­ing link is the arti­fi­cial nature of almost every­thing a child learns and the words they hear. 

Thus the impov­er­ished nature of the speech and com­pre­hen­sion of so many chil­dren under age 2.

I under­stand that chil­dren need to be ‘ready’ for school. How­ev­er, the pre­vail­ing opin­ion is that the soon­er they are placed in a day­care or pre-school envi­ron­ment the faster they will be ‘ready’ and ‘socialised’.

Hav­ing pre­pared my own and oth­er chil­dren for school I can com­fort­ably say that stay­ing at home with a lov­ing car­er (occa­sion­al­ly it’s their moth­er!) and learn­ing about the real world can give a child ver­bal and cog­ni­tive abil­i­ties way beyond his or her peers. 

Such attrib­ut­es pre­pare them at the very least for read­ing, since their spo­ken and aur­al vocab­u­lary will be at a high lev­el. In many ways such chil­dren are over­ly pre­pared for the mod­ern school envi­ron­ment com­pared with their peers; they might eas­i­ly be bored by the mun­dane tasks school expects of them in the Recep­tion Class (UK) or Kinder­garten (US).

Even the one child I had who was slow­er to talk and read had an extra­or­di­nary lev­el of com­pre­hen­sion which con­found­ed his teacher every time she test­ed him. Con­ven­tion­al wis­dom must have it that there can be no devel­op­ment of com­pre­hen­sion with­out the abil­i­ty to read and write! That just isn’t so.

The nature of ‘real world’ liv­ing real­ly pays off as a child matures.

Liv­ing in the shel­tered world of day­care from 6 months of age for 4 years, school for 14 or more years, fol­lowed imme­di­ate­ly by anoth­er 4 or 5 years of col­lege doesn’t nec­es­sar­i­ly pre­pare any child/young adult for hit­ting the world in their 20’s. For most chil­dren they won’t have spent any time liv­ing in the real world. 

Day­care from infan­cy and being cared for by bare­ly qual­i­fied and some­what tem­po­rary indi­vid­u­als is no way to grow up, albeit the pre­ferred way in the 21st century.

How­ev­er, we now have a gen­er­a­tion of par­ents in their 30’s and 40’s who were raised that way. They sim­ply don’t think at all about who is rais­ing their chil­dren. “Good enough for me, good enough for my chil­dren”. The mon­ey is in their pock­ets to buy every mate­r­i­al thing and ser­vice they need for them and their children.

We also have at least one gen­er­a­tion, prob­a­bly more, which knows noth­ing at all about rais­ing a child for the first 5 years. Books tell oth­er­wise since they are based on the reac­tions and behav­iours of chil­dren who are day­cared their whole lives – the new ‘norm’.

Do you real­ly want your child to come home from day­care say­ing “Get out of my way bitch”?